Are you able to discover the hidden image in this stereogram? And how can you apply the same strategy to discovering greatness?
Yes, I’m serious… have you ever tried to observe a stereogram?
The stereogram are images in which you have to “search” the 3D image hidden in a pattern. Of course, finding the hidden image isn’t easy.
When you start to observe a stereogram, for example the one I linked to this article, the first thing you’ll see is only a pattern of colors and shapes without, apparently, any meaning. You see waves, ripples, circles and colors, mixed together. In the beginning, the more you’ll observe the drawing, the less you’ll find the hidden image. But if you insist and don’t give up too early, slowly you’ll start to see that some details of the pattern, mixed together, creates a new hidden image. And if you have enough patience, the new drawing will show up entirely.
I have a big passion about the stereogram. I search them on the web and I have a large collection of this images and the websites in which you can find new stereogram periodically. And I enjoy so much to discover new images, training my eyes and my patience on new and more difficult images.
Which are the personal qualities to look at a stereogram?
During my last experience with this kind of drawings, I started to reflect on the abilities you need to search greatness the hidden images of a stereogram:
- First of all you need to have a patient and calm approach, because you need to give time to your eyes to “search” the drawing;
- Then you also need the ability to look beyond the first appearances; what you’ll see at the beginning is only hiding the real meaning you’re searching;
- You also need to trust in the fact that the hidden drawing is always present in the stereogram and that you are able to see it;
- Finally it’s important your willingness to be surprised by what you’ll discover; “Be prepared to be surprised”. It means that you have to start the observation with the curiosity to find something you don’t expect.
And which are the personal qualities to discover others greatness?
But aren’t these the same abilities to discovery the greatness in others? I’m convinced they are. And this is the list:
- Give them the “time” to show you how great they are;
- Give yourself the possibility to look beyond what others are just doing, and try to understand “in which way what they are doing represent their greatness?”;
- Be sure that they have their greatness, you have only to help them to bring it out;
- Be surprised about others greatness; it’s so different from yours and from others’.
Try it!
Look at the stereogram at the top of the page. Follow the suggestions of the last paragraph and try to discover what is the hidden image; once you discovered it, write the answer under this article and share it with others.
Next week I’ll give you the correct answer!
In the meantime, try to apply the skills showed before the next time you’ll talk with someone. After, try to answer to this questions: what skills of your partner did you discover? What happened when you told him/her your thoughts? In you like, you can share your thoughts under this article.
The power of appreciation
How the appreciation can impact your relations
Every time we talk with others, we focus our attention on the issue we are discussing, our thoughts and what we think is the solution of the situation.
And it’s really natural to be in this mood. After all if we are talking is to find a solution, an agreement or to solve a conflict.
This natural and we can say istinctive behavior give us the illusion to be really focused on solving a specific situation, avoiding distractions and misunderstanding, because we give all our attention to the question. The more we do this, the more we should have success in the conversation, we think…
If this behavior is so natural, why during a “solution focus” conversation our first focus should be on the discovery of the greatness inside others? Why should we focus on something that is apparently so far from our goal? Couldn’t it distract our focus from the real important part of a conversation?
If we pay too much attention to searching greatness in others, wouldn’t this take us far from our goal?
The answer is as counterintuitive as easy: searching the greatness in others is the only way that gives us the real possibility to see the others point if view, without filtering it with our glasses.
Furthermore, the more we focus on the others greatness, the easier will be the way to find a solution in every situation.
My last experience with the discovering of greatness
I directly experienced this situation in the last days, when I met a person during a demo session about his way of coaching, with a volunteer coachee.
During this session I started to pay attention on the differences between his way of coach and mine and of course my mind started to focus on what was “better” and “worse”.
I was really convinced that I was listening him, that I was very attentive to any detail, gesture and nuance in his voice and process, but proceeding along this way I suddenly felt the distance between me and him raising… it really disappointed me and I started to imagine how to focus in the best way I could on the moment.
So I drove my attention on noticing his efforts, his strengths and the skills he was using, although they were used in a very unfamiliar way to me. So I started to be curious also to discover others abilities that he was in some way showing me and it finally worked.
At the and of the session, before I gave my (requested) feedback on his performance, i gave him feedback starting from this details. Doing this, during the following discussion, we found a very interesting way to compare mine and his approach to coaching, agreeing that they were different and that we both would have gain many good insights if we have compared them in an assertive way.
How can we do this?
In our life we’ve heard many suggestions about the so called “active listening”: make questions, reformulate or “show” others your attention with the help of the non-verbal communication, but i’m really convinced that the right way to discover the others greatness is the “intention”.
In order to really discover the others greatness, you have to “want” to discover it in the words and in the behaviors of the other; it also means that you need to be “convinced” that there is greatness and that you have only to find it, just searching it.
If you “want” to discover it, you’’ll find also the way to notice it and you’ll make it notice to other too. It will open up new ways of talking and new solutions to your dialogues.
Budapest, here we come!
The Solution Focus World Conference is approaching and I am so excited!
And after the “Solution Focus Day”, the Solution Focus big family is preparing for the great world event to be held in Budapest, from 22th to 26th of May, the world conference that this year is dedicated to “Signs of Progress”.
What the Conference means to me
The World Conference is an incredible moment in which all the practitioners from every part of the world share their experiences, their thoughts and their works, but it’s also a great place in which you can bring your difficulties and surely you will find nice people who will be glad to help you giving suggestions or, rather, making the “right” questions that will lead you to think about your situation in a very different way.
This is for me the 3rd conference I take part and I remember that when I participated to my first edition, I was very intimidated (I know, it’s a stupid thing to admit, but it’s true…) to talk with people like Mark McKergow, Paul Jackson, Katalin Hankovszky or some other “guru” of a theory I was just discovering and that was fascinating me… What I was very impressed was the availability and openness of all these people to share informations and knowledge and this definitely “tied” me to the Solution Focus world.
The program, the organization and the Italian Team
The conference is organized by the Hungarian Team of SolutionSurfers and the chosen location in Budapest will be the Telekom HQ. The conference is also sponsored by SFIO.
The program can be found on the website dedicated to the event and, as you can notice, the Italian Team has already a space during the third day, Saturday, with Marco Matera presenting “SF Chart – a simple SF tool to achieve goals“. But knowing Marco and Chris I suspect that this won’t be the only space we’ll take!! I will keep you informed in “real time” of everything will happen there!
The program creates also some open spaces for “free sessions”, some moments during which people can organize brief sessions of what they want to share or offer or ask to other people. During this moments, the so called “two feet law” is the Queen! (If you don’t know the “Two feet law”, you have never participated to an unconference, and I suggest you start as soon as possible!)
Why “Signs of Progress”?
The signs of progress are a very important element in the Solution Focus practice. They are all those little changes that the client is generating with his efforts; and of course he has to observe them and value them, because from them he can learn more on himself, on his strenghts and on his resources.
And this is why this year is dedicated to the “signs of progress”: the big community of the SF practitioners is taking some time to reflect on the sings of progress they are generating in every situation they are impacting, trying to better understand which could be the “little next step” they can do in the future.
And I’m happy and proud to be part of all this!
3rd of May: the Solution Focus Day. A worldwide event!
Today the big family of the Solution Focus in the World is moving! It’s a “good” movement because every year the 3rd of May is the “Solution Focus Day” and it’s celebrated everywhere in the world!
In every part of the world, all the communities of practitioners have organized meetings, real and virtual, during which they are talking about their activities, their successes, their researches and their presence.
This year the online presence of the communities of practitioners is very wide and many meetings are programmed for today.
Here’s a list of some of them; if you are interested, please follow the links and take part to them. But be careful: some meetings are dedicated only to SF practitioners, some others can be viewed from everyone.
- From Sweden
- From SFIO Online Chapter
- From Singapore
- From New Zealand
- From Germany (the event has a cost)
- From Holland
- From the group “SF World Day“
Others initiatives?
To celebrate this day, some from the elite of the SFIO contributors have published a book aimed at business leaders: “Sustainable Solutions for Leaders: A fresh, fast approach”. You will find it on Amazon (this is the link) just at 2,99€. It is a short, practical and useful book that helps leaders to be more effective during the change they have to promote and sustain in their organizations, using the Solution Focus tools. In that book you’ll find suggestions on how SF helped organizations to implement change programmes, to meet agile changes or to improve interactions between members.
Why the 3rd of May?
The reason why this day is dedicated to SF is well explained on the facebook webpage of the SF World Day.
“Steve de Shazer and the team at Brief Family Therapy Centre (BFTC) did away with homeostasis and killed resistance (they built a shrine and buried it in one of the observation rooms at BFTC in 1978) and instead invented collaboration as a metaphor for the interaction between the family/client and therapist/team. This is much more than a simple change of words. Once you stop seeing “resistance” and instead sees “collaboration” it systematically changes your behavior as a therapist and it changes the interactional patterns in the system of “family-therapy-as-a-system”. Thus new patterns of interactions developed that could no longer be adequately described within the old theories. New concepts had to be developed so that the new interactional patterns could be included in the theory.
Solution Focused Brief Therapy could not have happened if this shift had not been in place. The paper “The death of Resistance” was published in 1984. The first attempt at publishing it was in 1979 and it was rejected 17 times.
The acceptance date for publication in Family Process was May 3’d 1983.“
And Italy?
Italy will be present in 2 different ways: the first is hosting an EBTA conference on “Dialoghi: la relazione nei gruppi” held by “Fondazione Franceschi”, and the SFIO Italian Chapter will be present with Marco Matera, a very important italian voice in the Solution Focus environment. The second presence of Italy in the celebration of the Solution Focus Day will be participating to the online events of the international communities.
Please, contact me if you want to learn more on Solution Focus here in Italy and in the World.
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